You can see your breath for miles.
You hold back a watery, bitter chuckle at the word 'miles'. You don't know
where your going exactly, but you just feel like
moving. You wonder for a moment if it's just moving, or if it's running away,
but you already know the answer, and you quickly deny
it. The cold prickles against your skin, and you ask yourself why you didn't
think to put on a coat before leaving. You stop, panting and trying to catch
your breath as if it's running ahead of you. There's a bench near you, but you
don't feel like sitting down, even though you probably should.
You hear your name being called
behind you. You start moving again. Your name begins to get louder, and more
desperate. Maybe you should stop, but you don't. You slow down some as the cold
starts to get to you, and you can hear the slaps of dress shoes hitting the
pavement behind you. An apology echos along with each slap, but you refuse to
listen. Listen or believe, you wonder again, and you decide that you'd rather
not wonder anymore. You try to clear your head, but all you can think about are
those rapid footsteps getting nearer and nearer.
You stop. You turn around, and look
the footsteps square in the face, and you fall. Your knees are probably
bleeding, but you don't care. You don't care about anything but the footsteps.
The footsteps stare at the tears rolling down your cheeks, and they drop too.
For a moment, you feel pity for their knees as they hit the ground, but you
shake that thought of pity away. You've given enough of your heartfelt emotions
away. The footsteps speak a stream of apologies and you don't know how the
footsteps knew you were upset, but they do. You remember thinking you had hid
your disappointment so well when the footsteps had seen you walk out of their
door. You remember waving goodbye and giving a shakey smile.
You try to focus on what the
footsteps are saying, but all you can hear are your thoughts telling you that
you were stupid for thinking anything would happen between you and the
footsteps. You break through your thoughts just in time to hear the footsteps
say that they're the stupid one, and that they have always loved you.They say
how it was completely idiotic that they pushed you away. After all you've done
for them, the footsteps choke out, after you've cared
when no one else tried. The footsteps explain how they saw you run, how they
saw the hurt in your eyes when you left, and how sorry they were when they
snapped at you. The footsteps gasp for breath, and so do you as you decide to
pull them into a hug. You feel the footsteps relax against you as blue meets
magenta, and you hold on with everything you have. For a moment, you feel a
motherly presence staring at you, smiling in approval. And they can see your
breath for Miles, but you don't care. You love him.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Do you think...there's a chance for...'us'?"
"I..."
"If you don't want to answer, just forg-"
"No."
"...oh. S-Sorry.
I'd...better go."
"Hm."
"...be seeing you."
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You take in a quick breath, and it
hurts. Suddenly, you become aware that you're in love. Of course, this
realization comes to you too late, as you watch love walk out your door. You
curse yourself for being so cold, so cynical. You know you shouldn't have
snapped, but you did. You just couldn't accept that someone, anyone, could love
someone like you. For some reason, you shiver, and you bitterly joke that it's
because your heart has finally become ice. You walk to the window, and see love
start to run away. You know you've hurt them, and you wonder for a minute if
you should bother chasing after them.
You find yourself running before you
even know what's going on, and your brain finally catches up seconds later. You
know you have to find love, you know you have to
explain. You just don't know how. You worry if they'll even let you. Your mouth
begins to function on its own, calling love's name desperately, frantically.
You wonder if love is even listening to your screams. You wonder if love even
believes in you anymore. You choke back a sob. You don't care if people are
staring at you now, you just want to find love. Your
dress shoes hit the pavement harder with each step, and you mentally repeat an
apology with every slap.
You see blue in the distance, and
you realize it's love. You run faster, even though you
know your past being out of breath. Love stops and turns around to face you,
and before you can call their name again, love falls. You notice that love was
crying, and you are suddenly aware that you've been crying too. You drop to the
pavement, wincing as your knees hit. Before you can think, your mouth lets out
a stream of apologies, and you know you're barely understandable, but you let
your mouth continue. You remember thinking that the disappointment on love's
face was so readable, so clear, and that smile love gave you shook with
sadness. You just glared at love, like a fool. Like a cold, heartless, bitter
fool.
You try to tell love that they
aren't stupid for thinking anything would happen between the two of you, but
your mouth rattles on. You fight for control of your feelings, but letting your
heart just pour out feels so good, and you figure it will stop eventually.
You've never felt like this before. Love seems to be somewhere else, and you
notice their brow is furrowed in thought. Your mouth cries out that you were
the stupid one, and that you've always loved them. You regain control and say
how it was completely idiotic that you pushed love away. After all they've done
for you, you choke out, after they've cared when no
one else tried. You explain how you saw love run, how you saw the hurt in their
eyes when they left, and how sorry you were when you snapped at them. You gasp
for breath, and so does love as you see their arms
move and pull you in. You relax against love as magenta meets blue, and you
feel love's grip get tighter. For a moment, you feel a fatherly presence
staring at you, smiling in amusement. And you take a quick breath in, and it
hurts, but you don't care. You love him.
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"Think
it'll last?"
The two figures chuckle, already knowing the answer.
"Please,
they've been crushing on eachother since gradeschool," the older figure, a
man, says, "My Miles may be a handful, but I'm sure Phoenix can handle
it."
The other,
a woman, smiles proudly, "I'm sure too."